Marriage and Happiness- 3 Important Benefits of Marriage

Introduction

Marriage and Happiness is another most important interaction of two variables. Happiness, often referred to as subjective well-being (SWB), evolves across the lifespan and is influenced by various genetic, environmental, social, and psychological factors. Positive psychology plays a key role in understanding these changes, with concepts like emotional regulation, gratitude, and social connections being central to sustaining well-being at different life stages.

Subjective Well-Being (SWB) is a concept central to positive psychology, SWB consists of-

• Affective well-being- The balance of positive and negative emotions.
• Cognitive well-being- Life satisfaction, an evaluation of one’s life circumstances (Diener, 1984).

Happiness can also be defined as a positive emotional state that arises when individuals feel satisfied with their life and experience frequent positive emotions, such as joy or contentment, and relatively few negative emotions. It reflects both emotional well-being and a cognitive evaluation of life satisfaction (Lyubomirsky et al., 2005).

Read More- What is Happiness?

Theories of Happiness

1.Hedonic Adaptation Theory or Set-Point Theory-

it suggests that individuals have a relatively stable baseline or “set-point” of happiness, influenced largely by genetics. Life events—both positive (e.g., marriage, promotions) and negative (e.g., loss, illness)—cause temporary fluctuations in happiness, but over time, people tend to return to their baseline level of happiness.

This theory emphasizes the idea that while external circumstances can temporarily change happiness, individuals naturally adapt and return to their set-point over time (Brickman & Campbell, 1971).

2. Authentic Happiness Theory-

It was developed by Seligman and posits that true happiness arises from living a life that fulfills three core components. The first component is Pleasure, which refers to the pursuit of enjoyable experiences and positive emotions, essential for a fulfilling life, even if they are often transient.

The second component is Engagement, achieved through deep involvement in activities that challenge an individual’s skills and abilities, closely related to the concept of “flow,” where one becomes fully immersed in a task, leading to a profound sense of fulfillment and satisfaction.

The third component is Meaning, which involves finding purpose and belonging, connecting to something larger than oneself, such as family, community, or spirituality. According to Seligman, cultivating these elements fosters a more fulfilling and joyful life.

3. Flow Theory-

It was developed by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, suggests that true happiness is attained through a state of “flow,” which occurs when individuals become fully immersed in activities that challenge their skills while providing clear goals and immediate feedback.

This state is characterized by intense concentration, a sense of control, and intrinsic enjoyment, leading to deep satisfaction. Key conditions for achieving flow include a balance between challenge and skill, clear goals, immediate feedback, and high concentration.

Csikszentmihalyi posits that regularly experiencing flow can enhance happiness and life satisfaction by fostering a sense of accomplishment and mastery, emphasizing the importance of engaging in activities that induce this optimal experience.

 

Read More- Measure My Happiness Levels (Oxford Happiness Questionnaire)

 

Marriage and Happiness

Research shows a significant positive correlation between marriage and higher levels of SWB (Berscheid & Reis, 1998; Diener & Seligman, 2004; Myers, 2000a). Marriage generally improves life satisfaction, happiness, and overall well-being compared to those who are never married, divorced, separated, or widowed.

Large-scale surveys in both the U.S. and Europe demonstrate this positive effect (Diener et al., 1999). A meta-analysis of 100 studies confirmed that marriage is a strong predictor of life satisfaction (Woods et al., 1989). A U.S. survey of 35,000 people (Myers, 2000a) found 40% of married individuals described themselves as “very happy” versus 26% of never-married individuals.

Benefits of Marriage 

Two key benefits of marriage include-

1. Social and Emotional Support- Marriage fulfills the human need to belong (Baumeister & Leary, 1995). It provides companionship, intimacy, love, affection, and support during crises.
2. Health Benefits- Married individuals report lower rates of depression, loneliness, and mental illness, and they live longer than their unmarried counterparts (Waite & Gallagher, 2000). Marriage can also help reduce depression and alcoholism (Horwitz, White, & Howell-White, 1996a).

The benefits depend on the quality of the marriage. Poor-quality marriages, with elements like abuse, conflict, or infidelity, negatively affect well-being. Bad marriages can be worse for happiness than being single (Myers, 1992).

 

Selection Effects

The selection effect suggests that people who are happier are more likely to marry, thus inflating the perceived benefits of marriage. However, the contribution of this effect is debated. Some studies (Mastekaasa, 1992) show selection effects, but others (Johnson & Wu, 2002) suggest they are minor.

 

Hedonic Leveling

Hedonic leveling refers to the psychological phenomenon where individuals return to a baseline level of happiness after experiencing significant positive or negative events, as they gradually adapt to changes in their circumstances.

Marriage may result in a temporary increase in happiness, but people generally adapt and return to pre-marriage levels of well-being (Lucas et al., 2003). A study of 24,000 Germans found that while marriage provided a short-term increase in happiness, this effect diminished over time.

Those already happy may gain less from marriage because their needs for companionship and intimacy are already met. Conversely, unhappy individuals may experience greater improvements in happiness after marriage due to their greater need for emotional fulfillment.

 

Read More- Mental Health

 

Gender Differences 

Some studies show that men benefit more emotionally from marriage, gaining protection from depression, while women experience more depression post-divorce or separation. However, findings on gender differences in marriage’s benefits are mixed (Diener et al., 1999; Horwitz, White, & Howell-White, 1996b).

 

Contradictions and Challenges in the Marriage-Happiness Link

Recent research has shown that the relationship between marriage and happiness is far more complex than traditional views suggest, as various factors influence how marriage impacts well-being. These new findings challenge the straightforward notion that marriage universally leads to greater happiness and instead highlight the importance of individual circumstances and the quality of the relationship.

1. Selection Bias- Research by Mastekaasa (1992) suggests that people who are naturally happier may be more likely to get married in the first place. This means that rather than marriage being the sole cause of increased happiness, happiness itself may predispose individuals to marry. Happier individuals are likely more attractive as partners, more likely to form stable relationships, and therefore more likely to marry. This leads to a potential overestimation of marriage’s role in increasing happiness, as those predisposed to happiness would likely experience greater well-being even if they remained single.
2. Adaptation- The phenomenon of hedonic adaptation further complicates the picture. Over time, individuals tend to adapt to major life events, including marriage, and their initial boost in happiness can fade. In a longitudinal study by Lucas and colleagues (2003), people reported a slight increase in happiness after getting married, but this increase leveled off within a few years as they adapted to their new circumstances. In the long run, many individuals return to their pre-marriage levels of happiness, which means that marriage may not provide sustained well-being benefits for everyone.
3. Quality of Marriage Matters- Perhaps the most crucial aspect of the marriage-happiness relationship is the quality of the marriage itself. As research by Gottman (1994) and others has demonstrated, the well-being benefits of marriage are most evident in happy, stable marriages. Healthy marriages provide companionship, emotional support, and stability, which contribute to greater life satisfaction. Conversely, being in an unhappy or conflict-filled marriage can actually lower well-being, leading to increased stress, depression, and even physical health problems. This is why some research has found that “a bad marriage is worse than no marriage at all” (Myers, 1992). Negative marital elements such as conflict, infidelity, or emotional neglect can significantly reduce happiness.

 

Paul Dolan’s New Research Findings (2019)

Paul Dolan’s (2019 ) in his book “Happy Ever After: Escaping the Myth of the Perfect Life,” challenges long-held beliefs about marriage, particularly in relation to gender differences in happiness. His findings provide a critical reevaluation of the narrative that marriage universally leads to greater happiness for all individuals.

Findings on Single Women

1. Single, Childless Women Are the Happiest- Dolan’s research reveals that single women without children consistently report higher levels of happiness and well-being compared to their married counterparts. This finding directly contradicts societal assumptions that marriage and motherhood are necessary for a fulfilling and happy life. Dolan argues that many single women live fulfilling, independent lives without the burdens that marriage and family life can impose.
2. Married Women with Children Report Lower Happiness- Married women, especially those with children, often experience lower levels of happiness and higher stress levels than single women. Dolan highlights the emotional and practical labor that marriage often entails for women, particularly caregiving and household responsibilities. These roles can be emotionally draining and physically taxing, reducing overall life satisfaction for married women compared to single, childless women.
3. Gender Inequality in Emotional Labor- Dolan emphasizes that the expectations placed on women to manage both work and family responsibilities contribute to their lower reported happiness. In many cases, married women take on a disproportionate share of household labor and caregiving, leading to greater stress and lower well-being.

 

Men and Marriage

1. Men Benefit More from Marriage- Dolan’s research supports the traditional view that men benefit more from marriage than women, especially in terms of both happiness and health. Married men report higher levels of well-being compared to their single counterparts. This is often due to the caregiving roles women perform in marriage, which improve men’s physical and mental health. Married men also benefit from the emotional support and stability that a committed partnership typically provides.
2. Marriage and Health- Married men, on average, have better health outcomes than unmarried men. Dolan attributes this, in part, to the caregiving responsibilities women assume, which may encourage healthier lifestyles for their male partners. However, he also stresses that these benefits are not as significant for women, particularly those who bear the brunt of household labor.

Dolan’s work urges a rethinking of conventional social narratives around happiness, particularly those that pressure women to marry and have children to achieve a fulfilling life. His findings suggest that many women are happier without these traditional milestones, and that societal expectations often do not align with the actual well-being outcomes for many individuals. Rather than assuming marriage is the path to happiness for all, Dolan advocates for a more individualized approach to well-being, one that considers different life choices, including remaining single or childless, as valid routes to happiness.

 

Conclusion

While marriage can lead to increased happiness for some, the relationship between marriage and happiness is highly nuanced.

Quality of marriage, personal circumstances, and gender roles all play a significant part in determining how much happiness marriage can bring. Many people today find happiness in other forms of relationships or in being single, especially as traditional norms about marriage continue to evolve.

Dolan’s work especially encourages a reconsideration of societal pressures and assumptions around marriage, urging people to pursue paths that best suit their individual circumstances.

 

References

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