5 Powerful Truths Good Friday Teaches Us About Grief and Healing

Introduction

In a world obsessed with quick fixes and happy endings, Good Friday remains deeply unsettling.

It doesn’t offer resolution. It doesn’t promise immediate hope. It stands in stark contrast to our cultural tendency to avoid discomfort and pain. And yet, that is precisely why Good Friday is so important—not only from a theological perspective, but also from a psychological and emotional one.

Good Friday invites us to sit with sorrow rather than rush toward resolution. It reminds us that grief has a place, and that healing often begins in the silence of suffering.

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1. A Culture of Quick Fixes

We live in a society that avoids pain at all costs. From instant gratification to motivational soundbites, we are conditioned to bypass discomfort. Sorrow is often treated like a personal failure or an emotional inconvenience, rather than a necessary part of the human experience.

Psychologist Susan David, PhD, refers to this phenomenon as toxic positivity—the pressure to remain upbeat and optimistic no matter the reality of our circumstances (David, 2016). However, when we rush to reframe or suppress suffering, we often short-circuit the healing process.

On Good Friday, we see something different. Jesus does not avoid the anguish of his crucifixion. Instead, He enters into it fully, crying out in despair:

“My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” (Matthew 27:46)

This is not only a theological statement—it is a profoundly human one. It gives voice to the kind of emotional pain many of us feel in the depths of grief, trauma, or abandonment.

2. The Sacredness of Grief and Lament

In Scripture, lament is not portrayed as weakness or lack of faith. It is a deeply spiritual act.

The Psalms contain numerous laments—honest, raw expressions of grief and confusion:

“How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever?” (Psalm 13:1)
“Why, Lord, do you stand far off? Why do you hide yourself in times of trouble?” (Psalm 10:1)

These prayers are not resolved. They do not offer easy answers. They simply express sorrow in the presence of God. This is something our modern culture often struggles with: making space for pain without rushing to a solution.

Researcher and storyteller Brené Brown emphasizes that vulnerability is the birthplace of courage and connection (Brown, 2012). To grieve well is to be vulnerable—to admit we are hurting, confused, and not in control.

3. The Psychology of Grief

From a psychological perspective, grief is not linear. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross’ well-known five stages—denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance—were never intended as a step-by-step formula (Kübler-Ross & Kessler, 2005). Grief is unpredictable. It ebbs and flows. It takes time.

Crucially, grief must be felt in order to be processed. Suppressing or bypassing sorrow often leads to unresolved trauma or prolonged emotional distress. As grief expert Alan Wolfelt puts it,

“We cannot heal what we do not feel” (Wolfelt, 2004).

Good Friday offers a sacred space to feel. It does not demand resolution. It allows us to simply acknowledge pain, to mourn without rushing toward healing. In doing so, it validates one of the most fundamental needs of the grieving soul: to be seen, heard, and held in our sorrow.

4. Staying Present in the Pain

The temptation to skip ahead to Easter is strong—not just in liturgy, but in life. We often want to move directly from struggle to solution, from breakdown to breakthrough. But the truth is: resurrection is not possible without death. And healing does not happen without first acknowledging what has been lost.

In Christian spirituality, this space between death and new life is not meaningless. It is sacred. The mystics spoke of the “dark night of the soul”—a time of deep emptiness and spiritual silence that, paradoxically, becomes the ground of transformation (St. John of the Cross, 16th c.).

Good Friday teaches us to stay present, even when everything in us wants to escape. It offers a model for honoring grief, both in ourselves and in others. It shows us that lament can be faithful. That silence can be holy. And that healing often begins with the simple act of not turning away.

The Healing Power of Honoring Grief

Good Friday does not give us easy answers. It gives us permission to grieve.

It reminds us:

• That we do not need to rush through our pain.

• That grief is not a failure of faith, but an expression of love.

• That lament is not weakness, but honesty before God.

• That even Jesus experienced sorrow, and did not turn away from it.

In the silence of Good Friday, we are invited not to fix—but to feel. Not to escape, but to embrace. Not to deny pain, but to trust that something sacred is already unfolding within it.

References

Brown, B. (2012). Daring Greatly. Gotham Books.

David, S. (2016). Emotional Agility. Avery.

Kübler-Ross, E., & Kessler, D. (2005). On Grief and Grieving. Scribner.

Wolfelt, A. (2004). Understanding Your Grief. Companion Press.

The Bible (NIV). Matthew 27:46, Psalm 10, Psalm 13.

St. John of the Cross. The Dark Night of the Soul (16th century).